Almost
by Lara1221
Summary: Remus almost leaves. He's so close to Dora being safe, to being out of his kid's life forever. But he can't. And there's no way Tonks is letting him get away.


**Disclaimer: **I own...words? Oh, wait, no, no I don't. Harry Potter property of JK Rowling, Piccadilly Station property of the United Kingdom. (That's the cover, for you not British folk, myself included).

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Almost

Remus paid no attention when he heard his name echo through the platform. Dodging people left and right, he just had to get away.

This wasn't for him.

Dora wasn't _for_ him. She deserves better.

That baby deserves better.

He hasn't let himself really, really cry since Sirius died, but with tears already in his eyes, it isn't long now.

This life isn't for him.

Remus isn't one of them. A monster, maybe not. James, Sirius, Lily..._Dora_ (he swallowed, hard), they had taught him that much. If he thought that selfishly, then he would be letting them die in vain. He could imagine the looks of disappoint, shame, rage on their faces, if he thought like that.

But he's certainly not a regular wizard. He can't have a regular life, a regular family. The wife-baby thing? That definitely wasn't for him.

They deserve better. They _need_ better.

They don't _need_ him, a basket case.

He had gone muggle before, it wasn't hard. He could do it again: help Harry quietly from the sidelines, be of assistance, gathering information, and Dora and the baby would be safe and free of his burden.

Everyone would be happy.

Not Remus.

But then again, he had never had much concern for his own feelings.

As long as his wife and baby were safe.

His wife...

What kind of husband was he, then? Running off?

He didn't deserve that title, either.

There isn't anything Remus wouldn't give to be like everyone else. Normal, human. He could be up early with Dora, watch the sun rise, give his baby a kiss goodnight, take long walks with his family.

But no. That just wasn't in Remus's cards, he had given up there. The least he could do was lessen the burden for everyone else.

In his hand, he clutched the next ticket out of Piccadilly Station. It leaves in five minutes. He hadn't paid attention to where, as long as it was far and the ticket was cheap. It was nearly crumpled now, notifying him of his crushing fists as he became more frustrated.

It wasn't fair.

Life isn't fair.

James, Lily, they were so young. They didn't get to watch their kid grow up. They deserve to be where he stands.

Sirius was a leader. He didn't need anyone's help, but he loved who he cared about until his last breath. He deserves to be where Remus stands.

But his name is called out yet again, and he can't help it. He turns.

Dora stands there, eyes fierce even clouded with tears. Her fists clenched, her skin pale and worried, her hair disheveled.

_She's so beautiful_. Why does she have to be so beautiful?

"So that's it, then?" Her voice cuts Remus like a knife, and his knees buckle. "You're leaving?! I _thought_ you understood! You're leaving me? I _thought_ I _knew_ you."

He didn't think anything could be worse than the disappointment in her voice, but the disappointment on her face as she speaks again is so much more so.

"You _are_ selfish, then," Tonks spats, "a, what did you say, that I always argued against? A _monster_, yes? How HORRIBLE can you possibly be?!" Tonks screeches, tearing at her hair and screaming at the ceiling. "You have your friends who would do anything for you, and a wife who loves you and a baby on the way and you're abandoning it ALL! COWARD!" she storms, stomping forward with all her might.

Remus would feel guilty if he called her Dora when she hated him.

She comes to a stop when they're toe to toe, and he's still silent.

"Say something, then! Defend yourself! Because I'm certainly not taking any of that back! If you're willing to go on the run to help Harry, sacrificing everything we have together, the oath we took, our child, then you're not who I thought you were at all!" She yells, jabbing him hard in the chest. Remus takes a few steps back, bringing his arms up, but still, says nothing.

Tonks takes another step forward, glare steadfast. "You- you're running _away_! The bloody Gryffindor, terrified of his own skin! His own family!"

Suddenly, she is so frustrated she can't stand it any more. She fists his shirt, and pulls him down and kisses him. Hard. Passionate. Fiery.

Then Tonks pushes away again.

"Doesn't that MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?!" her tears are falling so much faster now, and he is so much more hurt and shocked and confused and speechless. "I can't believe I married some mean, spineless...what would Dumbledore say? Sirius? Lily and James? What about Harry? He didn't have parents! How would he feel if he knew you were running away, leaving another child FATHERLE-"

"STOP!" Remus roars, facade shattering into a billion pieces. "Stop, stop, stop! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But I can't be with you! Don't you understand? Look, look at what I do to people! I...I'm a burden! My kind, Dora-"

"Don't you DARE Dora me!"

"we don't _do_ this! This isn't natural, or healthy, or good for you. I'm _not_ good for you! You deserve-"

_SMACK._

Though her tears have stopped, and her voice is more controlled, she is seething. "Don't...you..._dare_ say anything like that to me. You don't know what's good for me! Who are you to judge what's good for me? I _need_ you! I don't want anyone better, I _need _you!" And then she jumps into his arms, with no choice of Remus's but to catch her, and kisses him hard.

Remus can't resist, and he closes his eyes and questions why he even thought of leaving. Breathless, Dora pulls away.

"I..need...you," she mutters, in between kisses, breath hot on his skin, voice soft and deep.

Remus finally responds, and says the only thing he can. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm so, so sorry, Dora. I- I love you, you _know_ that. It was just a stupid mistake-" she cuts him off with her lips.

"Forgiven."

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**A/N:** That was surprisingly really easy to write. I hope you enjoyed it. Angst is fun :) I think i'll write some more of it, actually.

Submitted for:

**Pick A List: **normal (DobbyRocksSocks- this is my second word change); Remus/Tonks; Picadilly Station

**Cinema Comp: Outsiders: **Write about looking to belong.

**Star Challenge: Polaris: **write about Remus.

Please shoot me a review if you liked this! This did happen in my world, fyi. I don't think Harry's words hit Remus hard enough, and that's always been my opinion, it would take tonks as well. I hope you consider it a missing a moment.

Lara,

**Happy New Year!**


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